I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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