Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize