i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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