I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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