Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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