it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Your cock deserves a montage
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
