My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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