You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
