I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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