So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
My penis needs a shock collar
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
