Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
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