Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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