So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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