dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
