i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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