I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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