I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
