ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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