a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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