I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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