Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
