I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
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