four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
