How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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