Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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