We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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