it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
