Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
