I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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