he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
