she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
