hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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