I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
