I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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