question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
