I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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