But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
i need some magic done to my vagina
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
