I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
