YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
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She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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