my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
