awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
