when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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