I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
