I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
