So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
