Me. At least after what I've been through.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize