Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
the liver wants what the liver wants
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
