There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
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I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
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He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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