just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
