Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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