so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
