Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
