You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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