The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
