My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
