erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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